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  • Writer's pictureDave Driver

Power, Control, and Hurt Feelings

Power, Control, and Hurt Feelings

When something hurts my feelings, I have allowed that thing to be in control. I could even rephrase it and say I allowed that thing to hurt my feelings. That is a bit better. And at least I am being honest with myself, but things are still in control. You have probably experienced this as well. Clearly, neither statement is ideal. And perhaps less clearly, both suggest we have handed over our power. If we give things our power, we can become offended by them. Said another way, if we have become offended by some thing, we have given that thing our power. There is another way. We can hang on to our power. When we do we are likely to find that circumstances have less control over us. Offense is still possible but we have largely mastered our response. This is better than giving our power away, but it still requires us to spend energy deciding not to be offended, not to mention the possible condescension we hold toward that thing that dared to offend us. What do we do? May I suggest yet another way? How about if we give our power up entirely? This time though, we don’t have to give it up to circumstance. We can give it up to God. At least that’s how I refer to this infinite reality. Some call it the universe. Many call it Love. You may recognize some of its other names: Peace, Shepherd, Provider, Healer, Faithful, Wise, Virtuous, Forgiver, Patient One, and Charitable. Personally, if I am going to give up my power, it’s going to be to something so much more than you or me. Something drawn from all those names.

And when I have let go of my power to that greater being, I have discovered I don’t have to master my response. And I do not have to spend any energy deciding whether I should feel offended or superior. All that disappears. It disappears because I am engulfed by Peace, guidance, provision, health, trust, wisdom, virtue, forgiveness, patience, charity, and Love. So, when an unsolicited offense comes knocking on your door, don’t give your power to it—nor should you withhold your power from it. Rather, open the door and invite it in. Put on a pot of tea and set out a plate of cookies. Take the time to listen, to care. You might learn more about where it came from, what guides it followed to get to your door. Then maybe, just maybe, you can share some of those names that guide you, too. No power. No control. No hurt feelings.

Just Love.

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